I have been doing a lot of reflecting lately- I looked it up and to reflect means to think deeply about something- I just wanted to make sure it was different than just general ol’ thinking and not as excessive as obsessing. So here are the things I have been reflecting upon: exercising, eating healthy, drinking less and if you can have a double chin just from saggy skin or if it is just because you are a fat, lazy piece of shit. Like I said, it was some deep thinking I have been doing.
I find you can really spend some time reflecting or justifying all types of decisions and behaviors and even convince yourself that you need to take a month off exercising and use that extra hour you get back every day to get more work done, spend time with your family or binge watch something on Netflix. There are many flaws with this line of thinking, the first being that I never exercised every day in the first place. And then there is the reality that really everyone should work smarter vs. longer, my family tends to get on my nerves and most importantly if you are binge watching you need at least 3 hours to truly become a sloth.
I am a firm believer that if you have a strong reaction to someone it is because that person reflects something about you. So, during one of my moments of reflection recently when I was analyzing why someone at work had really gotten under my skin and pissed me off- I asked myself “are you a bitch for no reason?…..of course the answer was no, as I will only be a bitch for a really good reason and that bitch had no good reason. So I felt better immediately. BUT, something was missing, my Stuart Smiley moment had not brought me the peace I had hoped for….well duh, my feelings had been hurt, I was stressed, I was mad and no amount of positive affirmation were going to cure what ails me- I needed to buy something….I needed to jump on the road to 1 click happiness.
So I took to Instagram and the WWW to ease my sorrow but everything I found I either couldn’t afford (side note, if you are insanely wealthy does it ever get old to just buy anything you want whenever you want with never having to consider the price tag??? If anyone finds out, please report back- and remember what a good friend I have been to you through the years, how fun I am to be around and that I am a size 8) or if I could afford it (read afford as: can buy and still pay mortgage but shouldn’t necessarily buy) they didn’t have my size. The thing that is most frustrating is when I find something I like and there is only an x-small, or size 25 or size 00- all sizes that I think just should not exist- things this size should just be labelled “I do not enjoy wine and cheese”. Another thing I have always wondered- if you are short and small boned but technically overweight/fat but you still always fit into a size small or petite is that satisfying?? Like I said I have been doing a lot of reflecting.
Instead of meditating, exercising, reading or really anything else that could clear one’s mind in a healthy way after not finding anything to buy, I had an A-ha moment. I remembered that there is one brand of t-shirts and one brand of exercise pants that in some weird alternate universe I fit into a small- as even at my skinniest my frame is just a flat out medium- my shoulders and ribcage (without boobs) are likely as broad as most men and got me some hips- so when I heard these brands ran so large I could fit into a small I went on a spree of smalldom. I am not saying it is right or normal- and it is superficial as hell, but the truth is, seeing that S in my cart/basket- it made me feel better. And I thought “take that you mean bitch”.
Another thing I like to do when trying to make myself feel better is to make lists. So I started making a list of people that annoy me- some very particular individuals and then sometimes general types of people- like mean people, jackasses, people that talk down to you, racists, general idiots, etc.- but then the most fun list to make are well known/famous people who annoy me or I flat out dislike for various reasons.
Here is the latest combination of my list of celebrities and types of people that bug:
- Tony Robbins- can’t exactly put my finger on it, but I just can’t trust anyone that is ON at all times.
- Sigourney Weaver- just don’t’ like her vibe. She is likely a nice person but I will turn off anything she is in-
- All Kardashians- BLAHHHHH- just disgusting on all levels.
- Anyone that doesn’t love Ellen DeGeneres and her show.
- People who don’t love dogs. I can tolerate cat lovers, but if you are anti-dog something isn’t right.
I am spending less and less time on Facebook- I hate to say it, but it’s for old people- and by that I mean me….if I acted my age. But really it is just people venting about their political views, multiple pictures of kids (the good ones are also already on Instagram)- and reposting of mediocre memes and videos. I am so sorry to call this out for my many friends who work at Facebook and whose retirement is at stake- but once you leave you don’t really go back….except for the birthday reminders and once Instagram or LinkedIN figure how to incorporate and push out the birthday reminder feature, that could be the nail in Facebook’s coffin.
I need to get back to finding stuff I can’t afford on Instagram. I leave you with Finnish comedian, which someone did share with me via Facebook, so who knows maybe there is hope for Facebook yet. It is long, starts out a little slow, but stick with it- you will thank me:
That video is hysterical, and so are you! I love this blog. 🙂
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