What have I been doing for the past 10 weeks? Not writing for my blog is the easiest answer. It is a really good thing this is not how I pay my bills. But….maybe if I was dependent on my blog being written and most importantly- being read to get a paycheck, that would give me the kick in the ass needed and I would start writing all the time???.
We likely will not find out anytime soon as I am loving my real job right now and it has me very busy working and travelling…and then there is my leisure/vacation/lay around and do nothing travel which is also time consuming …and let us not forget those pesky kids- they are a lot of work- and I have TWO of them!
So for Christmas we unwisely gave Henry and Molly a trip to Disneyworld…. that wasn’t happening until February. I say unwisely because it was such a miscalculation to assume that on Christmas morning a 5 yr old and an 11 yr old were going to be able to process “Wow Mom and Dad spent thousands of dollars to take us to the marketing capital of the world…in 5 weeks!! That is better than getting tons of other stuff right now”. I mean they are kids, and more importantly they are my kids…which means they are genetically unable to delay satisfaction.
I want to clarify two things:
- That they are not brats, but they are so spoiled by grandparents and loved ones that they likely didn’t notice lack of presents from us. It was more the problem of once we got to February and were actually going on the trip- instilling what a big deal it was. AND
- Disney is not my jam. I know so many people that love it and others that find it not that bad…it just does not light my fire.
The craziest thing people forget is that Disney is so expensive!! Which I don’t think bothers you when you are a person that loves Disney- but when you don’t…. all I could think of was “I could be in Europe”, “think of all the shoes I could buy?” or the real gut kicker “this is a mortgage payment”. I felt like Clark Griswold the entire time. This started while driving to the airport I am like “Kids, are you noticing the plight?” ….but of course they weren’t as they had their earbuds in watching something on their ipads. Then jump to me trying to find something remotely healthy after 2 days of hot dog eating (which I am not knocking as I love a good wiener…I just thought a vegetable would be advisable) so I make them eat at the one place that has a salad- now it is an iceberg lettuce salad in a bag saturated in some nasty dressing- but beggars cannot be choosers. Just as I am about to lament out loud how bad the food is I look at their faces full of delight eating a D grade microwaved pizza and I zipped it.
Folks have asked “What is it that you don’t like about Disneyworld?” Well, here are the main things:
- It’s crowded.
- There are lines.
- There are lots of annoying children and adults in those crowded lines.
- You are paying hundreds of dollars to be in crowded lines with annoying people.
- The food is gross and expensive. **I am not saying I did not have a good hot dog or funnel cake here or there, but in general just not a fan.
- Morbidly obese people on scooters eating Genghis Khan sized turkey legs. **Full disclosure: I have a personal bias against the morbidly obese people on scooters who do not have a medical reason to be on a scooter and/or are not elderly**
Now all of the above points are obliterated by the joy in the kids faces when they meet Mickey Mouse- but, I don’t ever need to go back.
During my time in the crowded lines and watching some of the shows I came up some questions/suggestions for improvements:
- Why would you bring a baby/infant to any Disney park? I am talking under 1 year of age. The ONLY reason I came up with- which is likely the case for many, was that people spend so much money on this Disney trip they can’t afford a sitter on top of that. But seriously, unless that is your situation why in the world would you put yourself through the hell of bringing and caring for a baby in a crammed hotel room and then crowded theme park?? And even if ages 1 or 2- they are sooo tired, need to nap and won’t remember one fucking thing about the trip! I don’t get it.
- Names on Resumes? So this is probably the recruiter/HR person inside of me, but as I was watching many of the live action shows I kept wondering how these people finesse their job descriptions onto a resume. So for example, we are watching Beauty and the Beast and I think “Dancing Guy With Large Gold Spoon”…hmmmm how does he describe this on a resume “Cutlery Manager” or “Chorus Line Spoon”- or maybe “Lead Flatware Dancer”. Think about it.
- Parent Support Group Needed: Every morning as I was refilling my refillable mug I would chitty chat with various parents at our hotel breakfast spot. All sharing tips from the what they learned the day before. For Example: “The Avatar line is 3 hrs and not worth it” or “you can use your snack credits for ice cream” or “I never knew how much my kids bugged me until I shared a hotel room with them”. All I could think of was that if they had some sort of official gathering at the end of the day with cocktails, and no kids allowed- people would come just to be alone, drink and maybe pick up a tip or two.
- Smoking: **Disclaimer!! I have been known to have a cigarette or two after a couple of cocktails…but always in the absence of children. Now, still a gross disgusting habit but at least I have my pride.** IF you seriously cannot go through a day without smoking should you really be at the most magical place on earth? The amount of signage and verbal reminders they have to give about not smoking is beyond hysterical and there are still people that light up either real cigarettes or start vaping INSIDE places. There was literally this women behind us in the Frozen Singalong Show who kept asking her friend while her 4 yr old Elsa was in her lap “are you sure we can’t vape in here?”.
Anyhoo, many questions abound for me as to the allure of Disney- I just can’t understand why go there as opposed to all the other places in the world? This is likely a question that can never be fully answered. Kind of like some of the questions Doug frequently asks me, like: “Why are you so tired?” or “Do you really need another white t-shirt?” or “How many episodes can you watch in one night?”.
For much of the rest of February and March I travelled by plane or car- and logged numerous hours listening to podcasts. Most of these trips were for business or fun- but one recent roadtrip was for a funeral. And as sad as that time was I felt blessed to spend time with childhood friends and I realized that I can definitely learn a lot from my myriad of NPR shows and inspirational interviews with the likes of Brene Brown and Oprah- but, the most profound wisdom came from a day/evening with my tribe- if you think about it the best advice is always found closet to you.
I leave you on this beautiful Master’s Sunday with one of my favorite pieces by Kelly Corrigan. I am off to eat pimento cheese and drink bloody marys!
![](https://truegrit.biz/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/signature-1.png)
LOVE this post and YOU. As my husband says -“Disney world is like Jury Duty – you only have to do it once and you spend the rest of your life trying to avoid going back.”
Loved seeing you in person this week – and tell Brene this week’s work has been fulfilled.
XOXO
NPD
Finally, someone who understands. I thought I was the only (Scrooge) one who disliked Disney World.
Hallelujah! You forgot, probably because you already are used to it: hot & humid 🙁 Nope. I did take a 2 year old. Once. It turned out to be brilliant. She “had to go back to the air conditioned hotel to nap”, and after have a cool swim to wake up. We won Disney. Because we left. Every day, for three hours. How do you not look at a sign that says “says 2 hour wait and instead think “I know a swim up bar…?”
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