True Grit

King of the Avocado

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It may be just me, but if I accomplish all of the below 4 things in terms of avocados I feel like I could rule the world:

  1. Buy the right number of and perfectly sized avocados at the right time so that I never have to throw away a gross one
  2. Open them all at the right time so they are perfectly ripe
  3. Remove the pit without making a mess/cutting my finger off/or shooting it across the kitchen
  4. Effectively use them all right when open vs. saving for later and half of it then turns brown and gooey on top

After you have paid four bucks an avocado and then you have to throw away one because it turns into a science experiment and/or you make some delicious dish and are about to put the delightful creamy avocado on top and you slice open that sucker and it is an alien pod- it really puts a downer on your meal- especially if you are on the Whole 30 and are denied all forms of cheese and literally the avocado is your lone elixir to missing the nectar of the cow.

You know that philosophy of “don’t sweat the small stuff”, well on the Whole 30 I embrace the concept of “the small stuff will keep you from missing cheese”. Seriously I have gotten past the half-n-half and can embrace all things coconut and almond but the loss of the cheese is a tough one so a couple of ideas to replace the gloriousness of sharp cheddar and barrel aged feta in your life are below. **Side note- there is no time to miss such lame cheese as Colby or your basic Gouda- take it up a notch people embrace your inner cheese snob and dream about a double cream brie from happy Irish cows.

Small stuff to do or think about when missing Cheese:

  1. Make some crispy bacon (just no place in the world for limp bacon) and dip it like a chip in some mashed avocado.
  2. Buy something. I find retail therapy is a cure for all things. 1 click= 1 once serving of extra sharp Vermont cheddar.
  3. Look at cellulite in mirror. A minute on the lips, lifetime on the hips.
  4. Pick at your face. Nothing to do with cheese, but if you have immediate satisfaction issues, picking a blackhead is good for the soul. Truth!
  5. Put on PJs, get in bed and watch Netflix and think about how all people that are psychopaths, crime solvers or just have more interesting lives than you- normally don’t eat cheese. And just enjoy being in bed, in your PJs.

Day 3 in the books. I have already decided I am weighing myself Monday, because I need validation of efforts or may take to daily weeping.

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