Day 34: “Listen, strange women lyin’ in ponds distributin’ swords is no basis for a system of government.” If you haven’t seen The Holy Grail in awhile, get thee to itunes. It is a gift.
So yesterday I caved, it was all Molly’s fault. As I am a fan of perspective (aka “spin”) I blame my digression on my child. Here is why: she had an eye doctor appointment that took longer than we thought and she had her eyes dilated, so I was sensitive to HER need of food and so I said “do you want to go to the Roasting Company or the Roasting Company” (give children a choice I always say). As Charlotte peeps will know, the Roasting Company is a lovely little spot that serves primarily rotisserie chicken with veggies, which in and of itself isn’t an earth shattering restaurant concept…BUT, and here is where they take that shit home….they pour QUESO on it! AHHHHHHHH-Men!
I mowed that bird down. Now I did show some self restraint (again all about how you spin it)- Molly also got a side of chips and queso and I did not partake of not even one chip, nor did I touch her bowl of queso. I may or may not have licked my finger when I handed her the plate. I had a revelation, now I am no theologian, but my years of clinical research have shown that on the 7th day there was no resting, there was QUESO making.
Like most people I have been trying to ignore the news lately, unless it is an article in the Onion, other than that it is all depressing. However, Henry got me up at 5:07 this morning and viewing choices were limited, so I put on the news and heard some commentary on the white house and it got me imagining that I may be president one day. I mean it could happen- I was born in America, am in good health and I have a potty mouth. Of course, as any normal person would, the next thought was not all the positive changes I would make and all the good I would do- nope, I thought “what would my Secret Service nickname be” and of course then that led to coming up with ones for the whole family.
Me: Cracker (this is like a triple entendre, if there is such a thing)
Doug: D. Fresh
Henry: The Dictator
Code Phrase for emergencies: What is that smell?
So here is what led me to tears a few minutes ago- not the names, but like envisioning what an agent would say into his lapel mic at 9 pm on a random night “Cracker and D. fresh going outside for a nightcap, The Dictator is on the move, I repeat on the Dictator is on move. Mini-me is in kitchen, looking for Nutella.” And then like if the crazy dude jumped the fence again “What is that smell on the lawn?” repeat, “What is that Smell”.
Are these not thoughts everyone has while having coffee???
I was reminded yesterday of how lucky I am to have so many awesome people in my life- and although I love me some Dougie and have some dear Male friends, really my go-tos are my girls, my tribe, my village. But I have a new way to think about this instead of thinking of your best friends as the ones that are there in times of tragedy and joy- I like to think of them in two ways:
- Who are my window wavers? ( Thank you Matt Hudgins for redefining this for me. ) Like when I get rich and famous and am having wine in the morning with Hoda and KLG, who will outside the window waving at me. Those are your serious peeps
- Who is fully committed to coming to the old folks home and plucking all erroneous hairs from chin, ears and nose? These are the same people in your life that will erase your Netflix “recently watched” section immediately upon your untimely death.
My 3 things for today?
- What makes me pee my pants? Monty Python. There is so much goodness, so am including this for your weekend viewing pleasure:
- What do I love? Pillows. I do not discriminate between sleeping/bed or decorative and money is no object.
- Pet Peeve/Shit I find redonkulous? People who are assholes.