So it is day 12, almost half way through. I am continuously amazed at the unbelievable facts that you are rarely hungry when you eat this way, the sleep is so incredible and you have so much more energy. However, I would pull off a fingernail for a baguette with a wedge of brie and a bottle of wine (and Bradley Cooper). I have found a good way to keep your mind off all the bread and crackers you are not having is to puzzle. This week I knocked out the most difficult puzzle I have ever done. To celebrate I put some vodka in my LaCroix and had a cigarette. Yes, yes I did. So, if I was being 100% true to the Whole 30 I should start over at day 1….but you know what, I’m not gonna do it. And here’s why: because I like to be a rebel and I still think, the breaking of the snacking, dairy and bread addiction can still be accomplished even with a little drinky. And yes, I know smoking is disgusting, it smells bad, it will kill you, etc….but on occasion it sure is fun. And take it from someone who is always “packin” at work conferences, cocktail parties and various things you do when adulting, there are a lot of closet smokers out there.
This week Henry has been loudly announcing and dictating to everyone that he would like a baby “butha”. Now, this initially was met with laughter, but as the week has gone on and his pleas have become more dire I have found myself talking to him about advanced maternal age and the realities of aging eggs. He is adamant though about the need for this brother, so neighbors do not be shocked if he starts pacing in front of the house with a sandwich board pleading to the public in their assistance with securing a sibling.
Molly has been very concerned this week regarding my lack of adeptness at hair styling- hers inparticularly. Basically she has determined through many playground council meetings that hair styling is a coveted female parent skill expected to be bestowed on their child vs. the child learning to braid their own hair. She dropped by my room on her way to bed Tuesday night to drop off the above note/instructions and said “just let me know when you have them all down”….and I thought “well that will be never”….I can barely do a basic braid in my own hair let alone a fancy braid in someone elses. I plan on letting her have this fantasy of my soon to be braiding skills until she thinks I am a total dork loser, which from what my friends say, should happen in about 2 years.
During the time I have not been braiding Molly’s hair. I have been creating new favorite Whole 30 snacks- and seriously when you take nuts, crackers, cheese, hummus and really any dip besides guac off the table it gets kind of tough to be creative with snacking. Now I love a little guacamole, but without a corn chip and a margarita the enjoyment can be limited- so my latest go to are salted trader joe plantain chips with cashew butter. I cannot believe I did not have cashew butter until I was 47. Had I known this was an option to Jif all these years I would be fatter. It is evilly delicious.
I love music in general and a side effect of this Whole 30 living for me is an even more intense love of the sing a long. As I admitted earlier this week the LOVE SiriusXM channel (17) is my JAM. I am a sucker especially for Lionel Richie, Neil Diamond and Barry Manilow. So yesterday “I Write the Songs” came on and you know what- I still know every word. He may have overly indulged in plastic surgery, but that Barry can get ya singing.
I leave you today with some Zach Galifianakis and his series “Between Two Ferns”. This is the most recent one, but beware, once you watch one it will take you down the rabbit hole, so get comfy! Are you down with TPP?= genius.