Day 30: “Hey everyone, come see how good I look!!” God I love Will Ferrell. And Anchorman, is another movie I did not like the first time I saw it, but it grew on me. The quotes are endless here, but today was a tie with the above and “You have a dirty, whorish mouth”.
The feeling I have on this last day of the Whole 30 must be similar to the excitement and delirium experienced by those on their final ascent up Mount Everest….this is solely based on watching EVEREST on HBO 20 times this month when trying not to think about eating nuts or not eating wheat thins. I also like to visualize if I had a little red wagon like Oprah how much fat would be in it??
I am thrilled to announce to you, my dedicated readers, that I have decided my next 30 days will be committed to “Making the Cracker Great Again”. This will include such celebrations as Manchego Monday and since alcohol will be back in the mix, Shredded Saturday. The options for celebrations are endless.
I am going to the store today to stock up on wheat thins, other crackers, cheese and hummus. I am talking like Doomsday prepper levels. As not only do I have pent-up consumption, but Wheatthinpalooza is just 5 days away. The dawn of Carbalicious is almost upon us. The excitement is building to a crescendo.
Too many friends from high school got in touch in past couple days, not to express their shock and awe regarding my soul baring stories, but to say things like “why didn’t you tell the story of us drinking Fat Tuesday’s behind the gym” or “remember when we got fired from TCBY for eating toppings” . Now first of all, I do want to call out that I think we can all agree that nothing “good” ever has, nor will ever happen behind a gym. Like I feel like that is a waste of a story. As a parent, instead of that lie most people use “nothing good ever happens after midnight”….which really is a lie as it may be embarrassing, morally compromising, career limiting, etc.- especially in the days of the internet- but it is always good;-) Anyhoo, this is my diary and these are my stories people and I decide when I get to embarrass myself. Let’s make the cracker great again!!
I know many of you have been thinking “how is the Whole 30 playlist coming along”- well, I will tell you- quite nicely thank you for asking. Really it has remained unchanged except the addition of Eric Church’s “Drink in my Hand” , which as you know is as popular with the toddler set as twinkle twinkle. Henry, formerly known as the Original Gansta, who will now be called Bohephus due to his new found love of country- likes to request this song as “Hand in Drink mommy”. Again I think this is a fine example of instilling the love of music in your children.
My three things for today:
1. Things that make me pee my pants laughing? 60% of the time it works all time!
2. Thing I love? Dog People. Now this is different than loving Dogs. I just feel like Dog people get it. Even really weird Dog people.
3. Pet Peeve/Shit I find redonkulous? The 20 lb restoration hardware catalog. Just why?