Day 20: “I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it Bob”. 10 more days my friends and I can tell you exactly what I am missing- and this is in order. Crackers, cheese and a vodka drink…bad. I have found an acceptable excuse for ½ n ½ and that is coconut cream. I have told myself that if I have lost 10 lbs I can suffer this injustice permanently. They say in the Whole 30 book that day 16-27 are the “Tiger Blood” period and they say this is when you wake up feeling like “someone switched on your awesome”, which again they describe all the medical reasons behind this for many pages, which I am just not that interested in- but thanks to them I do keep seeing Charlie Sheen in my head saying “WINNING”. But as soon as I think of Charlie Sheen, I feel dirty- like need to take a bath gross so that kind of kills the moment. Instead of Tiger Blood I have hereby re-named this period “awesome sauce”. I keep thinking that if you added brie, some wheat thins, wine and an American spirit this really could be an epic time.
It’s Labor Day weekend and the Lowry’s are really about to turn it up over here. It’s shaping up to be a nice little Saturday: A little Target, Whole Foods, Harris Teeter maybe a little Trader Joes and a trip to the pool…I don’t know, don’t know if we will have time. The most exciting thing that will happen today is the Whole 30 singalong in the car- I know you have been wondering and Come Baby Come by K7 has risen up the ranks to our #1 most frequently requested and played song. You really haven’t lived until you take a gander in the rearview and see your 3 yrd old bouncing in a car seat singing “bounce – c’mon- bounce” and then brings a completely insync “swing batta batta batta batta batta swing”. Molly said she totally knew what the song was about, “duhhh Mom playing baseball inside and pumping things”. God bless her, she also thought “Blow my Whistle” by Flo Rida was about “kissing”.
Anyone that has spent any time in the car with me or at a party where alcohol is served can validate my love for a good sing along. I do believe all high school friends, Doug, Erin Brady and Cari Erickson have suffered this cruel punishment the most. I just love music and love to sing- it makes me happy and I get REALLY annoyed if errbody doesn’t want to sing (and dance) along with me. You will rue the day. I like to call this alter ego “Trixie” and back in the day Trixie loved herself a tambourine and a good jump on stage with any wedding band. In my mind I am a combination of Etta James, The Indigo Girls and Susan Tedeschi- the reality just aint pretty. I also thought I would be sitting on my dining room table having cake with Jake Ryan for my 16th birthday. A healthy fantasy life has never been a problem for me.
My 3 things for today:
1. What makes me pee my pants? Amy Schumer. I don’t love all her sex stuff, not because I am a prude, I just find it unnecessary to hear about people’s hoo-hoos. Below is possibly one of the funniest and most real experiences in life. I actually spoke to my Mom yesterday in the car while she tried to log into Facebook for 20 minutes. I thought I would kill myself.
2. Things I love? Barry Manilow and Neil Diamond. I don’t feel like this needs a lot of explanation other than I lived with a Woman going through a divorce in the mid-70’s and became quite familiar with these artist’s full catalogs.
3. Pet Peeves/Shit I find redonkulous: Incorrect towel folding technique. Ok, so here is the thing, if you want a towel (or anything for that matter) to dry you must expose it to maximum surface area. SOOO folding a wet/damp towel 2-4 times and THEN folding over a towel rack may look aesthetically pleasing but does not dry the towel and will result in “mildewey” smell. The only time multiple towel folds are appropriate are when the towels are dry/clean.