Day 18: “I call this look, dead but delicious”. This is a quote from “What we do in the Shadows” a movie by the hysterical Jemaine Clement. He and Bret McKenzie also created Flight of the Conchords, which will make you pee your pants laughing. Video below.
Speaking of looks, I have been fantasizing about my post-30 look. ‘Cause lets be honest even with all of these positive effects of feeling like waking up on meth (now they don’t say it in exactly that way, this is just my synopsis of a 20 page section in the book about biological/physiological and psychological changes in the body.) and breaking bad habits- I will be PISSED if after this month I get on the scale and have only lost 3 pounds. For anyone that doesn’t know, part of the Whole 30 rules are that you cannot weigh yourself for the full 30 days. I never weigh myself in general- because why put a little reality into the land of denial?? So I really thought I would have no problem with this, but when you feel denied of all earthly pleasures, that scale calls to you to validate your sacrifices. But I am rule follower, so I eschew the scale and solider on!
Back to my look, so as I mentioned before, I am very aware that my expectations of results from the Whole 30 may be unrealistic, but I am going with it. I am thinking white skinny jeans, some fabulous top accentuating the décolletage and killer shoes (not that shoes have anything to do with weight loss, it would just be silly to not want killer shoes)- I am even considering creating my own version of Blue Steel which I am going to call “ Carbalicious”. Now don’t get too excited, as I am no fashion icon in general but am thinking this look/outfit will fall somewhere between Jennifer Gardner on a normal day at the Santa Monica farmers market and the sorry excuse for an adult who wears spongebob squarepants pajama pants to the airport.
I went to the movies last night for the first time while on the Whole 30. It was brutal. I thought the popcorn would be the problem, but reality is that movie popcorn smells, looks and sounds waaayyyy better than it tastes so the temptation wasn’t that bad. I brought my own roasted/salted plantain chips (they are blahhhhh, but when all you have is blahhhhh to choose from- you eat it). The problem was, I know 200% that there is nothing better than a perfectly balanced (soda and syrup) fountain Coca-Cola…there just isn’t. To pour salt in the wound there is the whole promo before the previews where they play the slow-mo of the fountain coke lovingly being poured over the ice. Like I said, it was brutal.
And let me talk about ice, as thank God ice is allowed on the Whole 30, as I take ice quality and especially type/shape VERY seriously. When we renovated our current house, I nixed several bathroom improvements (and this is a 1960’s house where the bathrooms have not been touched in 50+ yrs) for my rabbit pellet ice maker. Doug said it was “embarrassingly” expensive, but I was 8 months pregnant with the Dictator- so I won that one. There is just nothing better than rabbit pellet or shaved ice- screw the cube I say!! So once a month when I breakdown and am taking a bath in the only bathtub in the house (which is the kids jack n jill bathroom) with a member of the Paw Patrol and a lego stuck to my butt …I think of that ice maker and smile.
My three things for today:
1. What makes me pee my pants: Flight of the Conchords. “It’s Business Time”. Seriously put on depends before you play this. “You go take out the recycling- that’s not part of it- but it’s important”
2. Things I love? Coffee Cups. Like pajamas, print/design is very important – I don’t like any funky shapes don’t get creative- cups are round. But really size is the deal breaker- what is the point of small coffee cups? I think tea cups being small just tells you that hot tea is not as good as hot coffee.
3. Pet Peeve/Shit I find redonkulous: Having to weigh when you go to the Dr.- especially at the OBGYN, I mean, COME ON! like you need a reason to hate it even more!. Last year I went to the dermo and they wanted to weigh me- after I laughed, I was like,, I have adult acne…I thought this was a safe place, “aren’t we in the trust tree?” And I just said no. Own your health people!