Day 15: “Mazel, Mazel Good Things”…BOOM- Half way there! Mic drop. Beyonce can take her lemonade and put some coconut milk in it. I can’t really believe it. I mean this experience has been surprisingly pleasant. Kind of like Darius Rucker’s switch to country.
Yesterday, besides Earl I also whipped up gazpacho, coconut curry sauce, a romesco sauce, ranch dressing….and wait for it… pork butt. Let me tell you that you truly haven’t lived until you have sauntered up to the butche…r and said “I’d like 2 pounds of butt please” and if you are really lucky you have a butcher who says “would have been even better if you said ass”.
I like to fancy myself Giada de Laurentiis while cooking..well if Giada had a potty mouth, a crappy manicure and big droopy boobs. I mean seriously her perfect manicure and perky boobs are way more impressive than her gnocchi.
A side note: tomato seeding is for the birds. Ain’t nobody got time for that! Like when I become a billionaire, after I get back from Tahiti on my private jet (which will be filled with Wheat Thins and vodka) I will be hiring a chef to do things “ain’t nobody got time for”- these things will include: tomato seeding, garlic mincing and reading labels.
A few people have asked how my husband, Doug, is doing with this “situation”. So Charles Thrift, this is for you:
Here is what Doug, henceforth to be referred to as Dougie Fresh, Dancin Dougie, My lover (see below video for reference) or as he prefers “straight up baller”, thinks about the Whole 30:
What Dougie Fresh likes about the Whole 30:
1. Lots of activity in the kitchen which many times results in a meal.
2. Reduction in Total Wine bill.
3. My love of all things swine and spiced meats.
What does Dancin Dougie not like about the Whole 30:
1. Whole Foods
2. All things coconut
3. Boob shrinkage
Here are my 3 things for the day:
1. Things that make me pee my pants laughing? Will Ferrell. He is awesome. And then you combine with Jimmy Fallon and it is pure comedic dynamite.
2. Things I love? Pajamas…obsessed. I go for comfort, fabric and print with no concern for cost. It is a problem.
3. Pet Peeve? Uncrispy bacon- I mean what is the point???