Day 11- “NO More rhyming and I mean it!…anyone want a peanut?? ”
YES PLEASE! I am done with almonds, macadamias, cashews and all these fancypants nuts- I just want a good ol” georgia peanut people…but it is not whole 30 approved, so I shall suffer on.
Speaking of whole 30 approved there are a handful of lucky products that have been deemed worthy of this label and they stamp it on front of the packaging. I have another idea. Instead of making people read every damn labe…l to see what type of sugar or godforsaken chemical is added I want a label made in some obnoxious color that just says “NO CRAP INCLUDED”- I mean I could make it through whole foods in half the time. I suggested this yesterday to Sean, my new BFF at the Whole Foods checkout, he did not want to go on record for obvious reasons, but he agreed with me;-)
Back to Day 11, when you can’t weigh yourself and validate progress I have decided instead that the Amazon one click can bring the same slight high of losing a pound. So I think of this way: 4 celery sticks for lunch= 2 new books for Brookie! you get the drift. We will be broke by September 14th but if I am really skinny I won’t care. Speaking of shopping, I have decided finding decent Endive at the grocery store is like trying to find BigFoot or the elusive 5 inch inseam shorts for girls….they are not easily found. After much online and inperson shopping I have decided whoever comes up with what I will call the “non-hootchie section” for tween girl shopping will be a billionaire- Zara Kids and Crewcuts can only handle so much business.
Although I am quite clever, or as one of my besties Bonnie Warner Kimmerly says, “crafty” in my musings I need something to keep me motivated to write so I have decided for the next 19 days I will share 3 things:
1. Something that makes me pee my pants laughing.
2. Something that warms my heart. (1 and 2 many times may be the same).
3. A pet peeve
Here are the first three:
1. Wanda Sykes. She is so hysterical and I don’t think she gets enough press. If you want to pee your pants laughing and don’t mind profanity and bathroom humor search “wanda sykes crank yankers rental car”.
2.Dogs- I love dogs. My current obsession are these two St. Bernards on instagram- Lucy and Norman @saint.lucy check them out.
3. PARKING AT TRADER JOES at the metropolitan in Charlotte. I just can’t even handle it for one minute.
In other news, puzzle done- BOOM! And thank you Elisabeth Ayres Come, baby, Come as been added to our Whole 30 playlist!!