I am so glad Halloween is over. I just don’t get it, don’t like it. I think the reason is because it is not a holiday that plays to my strengths and I hate candy. I want to be clear my issue with candy is a lifelong thing- I have just luckily never had a sweet tooth. Not craving/being excited about the cornerstone of a holiday celebration I have found is kind of critical to enjoying it.
I am all about a pagan celebration- I don’t judge, just wish it did not include getting creative and enthusiastic about costumes and dressing up. Just think about any other holiday- like Christmas for example, there are so many perks: even if you are not Christian, there is singing, eating, presents from others, presents you may or may not have bought yourself and put under the tree from “Santa”, drinking and days off work and most importantly for me currently, there are relatives to help run defense with the Dictator…what’s not to love? Even if you aren’t Christian, it is a great time of year, as all the Christians are in a great mood.
So I got to thinking yesterday about the changes I would make to Halloween. Here they are:
- The Kids all dress up and go to one big field and they all bring candy with them and they just have a huge swap meet of candy vs. going house to house. **Now just like you get called to jury duty, every adult has to register for Halloween party to ensure no creepy stuff happens.
- Adults can wear anything they want, but what is common is just whatever you happen to have on at 5:30 on Halloween. Pajamas are accepted and encouraged. Now even if it is redonkulously warm out like yesterday Charlotte, I would still wear a cute pair of my flannel BedHead PJs, with a bra and shoes of course. And if you are one of those people who this is that one time of year you feel you have to wear something sexy to feel validated, bring it on- no judgement.
- Every house has to have an appetizer and a cocktail if you opt to participate. You knock on the door and here’s the thing- if the person inside is tired, their house is dirty or they just don’t want to deal- they don’t open the door and just stay in their bed ensconced in Bloodline season 2 and ignore you. OR they open the door, but you don’t have to say anything stupid like “Trick or Treat”, when you open the door you say “Welcome, we have a lovely New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc paired with a smoky gouda and a triscuit” or “Tonight we are serving a Pinot Noir with Brie and the always fabulous wheat thin”. And you have like a little shotgun wine taster and a respectable amount of cheese and crackers, converse if you are so inclined and then just ease on down the road.
The day after possibilities are endless, I mean I can much more easily take care of leftover cheese, crackers and wine than that nasty mini Almond Joy that will sit in the former fruit bowl on the kitchen counter until one night in January when someone is desperate enough to eat it.
Of course, a week could not go by without a parenting fail, so here is my latest. The past few weeks, solely because I wanted to enjoy CBS Sunday Morning without negotiating what is an appropriate church outfit- I have given Molly the choice of going to church. I know, I know. So, of course she decided to stay home, so thinking really outside of the box I said “ok, if you stay home there are no screens- you have to play outside, read or clean the house”. As I am thoroughly enjoying a piece on the history of the bumper the sticker (you will only get how awesome this is, if you watch the show) and cannot be disturbed.
So she starts off “organizing” Henry’s stuff- like the loads of plastic crap that overflow from baskets that you never want to touch. Our house is not big, so I can hear or see her the whole time- and she is really into it. So after like an hour, right when Jane Pauley is about to leave me along the banks of some river in Wisconsin (again need to be a CSB Sunday morning watcher to get)- Molly asks me where the Lysol is (which I didn’t know and had to look for/text my housekeeper) and then she starts cleaning our guest bathroom toilet- CLEANING THE TOILET. Yep, pretty sure I have raised an atheist.
I took yesterday off work, as you know I had to prep for Halloween and I had some family in town. So since I was free of meetings, I decided to pick the kids up at carpool, which if your kids normally go to extended day, this is a BIG DEAL. So since I literally have only ever done it 4 times and I don’t read/pay attention to any of the emailed instructions since they normally don’t apply to me. SOOO…this was me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7ixBvVQHC0