So don’t get excited about the title of this post fellas- this is just how we travel- in twosomes, threesomes, groups, or in tribes. Now maybe I have been apt to do this in my life, because I always had FOMO or a small, dysfunctional family- but as a wise friend (maybe me) said lately, “aren’t all families dysfunctional”:-) I have just always felt, since junior high- the more the merrier. I think female friends are the lifeline to learning, laughing, growing, being inspired, validating and being more than you are. I just have always felt drawn to connect, find commonalties and share the fun, the joys, the struggles, just the everything- with other people, and particularly women. I mean isn’t this why we were put on earth- to enrich others’ lives and for them to do so in return?.
And most times it is not something that has a lot of forethought, especially when you were younger, but ultimately for me that was the pull. I never had a brother or uncle or male cousin that was around my age that I made that connection with, so I also started off very young wanting to build those same friendships with men.
I guess I just innately knew I needed to build my own tribe. And it wasn’t until recently when someone I had met in the past few years came to a party I had and said “ohhh, you are a gatherer”- you find a friend and bring them in from all connections in your life- childhood friends, family friends, random social friends, friends you meet that are parents of your kids, friends you meet through work and others you connect with just through life- neighbors, yoga, Facebook, random social gatherings, etc. – If we connect, I keep you;-)
Well on this eve of thanks I had a unique experience I wanted to share that I find such joy in, as I truly believe God set this one up years ago. These three girls that walked into the bar- here are our high level descriptions:
- Jenny, barely 42, grew up in Brunswick, GA, wicked smart, kick ass body, helps run the family business, while running races AND a part time model…and oh yeah, is raising 3 sons….and, most importantly isn’t afraid of a good time. We have known each other for 20 yrs. She is married to Paul
- Elizabeth, 47, grew up in Atlanta, we have known each other since 10th grade/1986/30 yrs. Nicest, prettiest and likes to have her wine kind of girl I know. Has also raised 2 (some could argue 3) boys. She is married to Trey.
- Brooke, almost 47, the girl from Atlanta that spent a lot of her past 46 years down on the coast at St. Simons or Sea Island. Her happy place of friends, family and memories. Brooke is married to Doug,
We have a lot in common even though our lives have taken us different paths. But the best part is, Brooke (that is me in the 3rd person) has dated not just Elizabeth’s husband but ALSO Jenny’s. NOW, to be very clear- I dated both of these fine gentlemen BEFORE they met their wives. But this entire web we weaved was known to all. And the even better part is that all is kosher. Not that all breakups are transitions are easy, but I think there is something to be said that we can all six spend time together and any past relationships are just part of our history. And the history that makes this connection is what makes it beautiful.
I am so proud of the fact that all past boyfriends and I are still friends, or at the very least friendly. I think really because, if we ae all grown ups, and you end a relationship in your teens or early twenties (caveat here is: there were no rings, no marriage talk, no cheating, it just was not meant to be) in an open an honest way- you should keep that friendship and cherish it..
And really if I had not kept my friendships with Paul and Trey that would have never opened up the avenue for the deeper relationship with Jenny and Elizabeth- and these girls are my St. Simons Sisters. In the past 20 yrs, we have spent quality together time at least twice a year and every time it is like a beat has not been skipped. I continue to bring them into my established tribe from growing up and new friends- and they do the same. I think God had a plan here.
My point here, is to never limit yourself to where you might find friendship, inspiration, perspective broadening, motivation, fun and joy from others. Friendship and just the basic human connection is such a gift. GIVE THANKS.