Ok seriously people of North Carolina if I hear that baritone voice say “There was a time…” one more time, I am going to scream…and what I will scream is “shut up!!” I don’t care about what used to happen at the Biltmore or what is currently happening there…just don’t. I am most concerned with my mental stability after having the kids home for 18 days straight and now we are about to embark on snowmageddon- and in Charlotte and Atlanta that means that seriously we may not leave the house Friday-Tuesday and kids may not have school until Wednesday.
These are going to be trying times in the kingdom. There is one universal truth I have learned, and that is if Jim Cantore is in your neck of the woods, tequila/vodka and Bob Armstrong dip are in your future. Anyone who is not from Texas, or a devoted Queso connoisseur, like myself- research Bob Armstrong dip on the internet, you will thank me. Shockingly it is not Whole 30 approved. Happy Birthday John McCollum. “May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the Bob Armstrong fall softly on your lips.”
I am putting a disclaimer out now, that come Sunday morning I cannot be responsible if some vodka just happens to find itself in my La Croix. We all have all limits people. I heard from the lady that did the Whole 30 before, the one who snuck into her back yard to have an American Spirit (aka a healthy cigarette), that on a Saturday or Sunday at about 11 am if you are not driving, nor solely responsible for keeping children alive, you can take an Ambien and sleep through cheese/bread, chip/dip and bloody mary cravings. She is a wise soul, I do hope our paths cross one day.
I feel fab by the way, and have had not a headache and the sleep is, once again, off the hook. I will say it again, I do not think I could do this if I had a sweet tooth, especially if you love dessert as equally as you do dairy and bread. Really if I put a little cashew butter on a banana that satisfies me- but I know that will not do it for everybody. I have had one tablespoon of cashew butter a day on half a banana but still eating no nuts. AND you are totally not supposed to do this, but I am truth teller so I cannot lie, I weighed myself Tuesday morning and then this morning- and I am not very good at math, but that is 3 days/72 hours and I my fat and calorie intake has been high- no one would believe how much I have already lost- and I can’t admit it, as it would make me seem like a holiday enjoying, Netflix binge watching, pizza eating, wine drinking sloth…..5 pounds!! IS that not disgusting??? I also think taking snacking on nuts out of the mix is key.
Anyhoo, it is sure to plateau and I will likely breakdown this weekend, so don’t be that impressed.
Back to the snow, I share this video that has been making the rounds on Facebook and some may say it is ridiculously stereotypical- but anyone living/from Atlanta knows it to be true. My Dad’s nickname was “Snake”, and for those of you who did not grow up with me and always wondered, my maiden name is pronounced Raz-nick not Ra-Snake, but still a really good nickname and he gets a really long chapter in my book. Snake actually used many of these terms about snow, he also did not miss a University of Georgia football game for 50 years, never had an oven in his house and did not pay my college tuition one semester so he could pay to re-carpet his beloved fraternity house in Athens- so all your UGA Chi-Phis who enjoyed that new wall to wall in the spring of 1990, you are welcome!!