Day 16/Post Whole 30. “Put the ev-vee-dance in the car”. For you non-southerners, non-rednecks, cinematic snobs out there this is one of Jackie Gleason’s many awesome quotes from Smokey and the Bandit. Now speaking of evidence, I can tell you 16 days out living on 85% of the Whole 30 I still feel awesome. My sleep has not been the greatest due to jetlag and the Dictator arising at 3:30 am this week- but other than that, good. My slow and arduous research has proven that for me at least sugar, flour and dairy are not my friends or as the official term lately is “they do not promote gut health” and again in the Whole 30 book and numerous other books and articles you can read about gut health if you are so inclined, but let me break it down for you- if you eat something and you feel like crap afterwards- don’t eat it. Also, I think “gut health”is such an unapproachable term- so feel free to use my more relatable term….”my stomach no likey”.
So I am launching my blog in a couple of weeks, have written an article for a magazine about my Whole 30 experience and have started writing a book….seriously…so thank you to my 4 devoted readers who have encouraged me on this journey. I am really excited, and my devoted family and friends are really prepping for their futures as window wavers. SO all you kids out there who are currently embarrassed by most members of your family or think once a day “how am I related to these people” or all you adults out there that think “OMG how did my life get so screwed up/there will never be enough therapy to process all of this”…..take heed, you too can start to write in your late forties and will find humor in it all.
My mom has started sending me random emails with subject lines like (and spelling errors and lack of capitalization are for accuracy of the truth) “remember I tell people I am ten yrsss younger than people think so don’t mention the year I was born” and “recap on husbends, boyfriends, etc in case you have blocked any out.”. Then I have received texts from sister with information like “don’t forget the pictures we found at papas funeral that validated our assumption that we are related to circus people/carnies” and “do you remember when Mom made up James Bond names for all of our family members and made us where masks at Thanksgiving”. So lets just say, pretty sure my book will write itself.
I personally am most concerned, not with the content of the book, but how good I am going to look in my headshot for the “Meet Brooke” section of the blog. Now, unfortunately, due to excessive vodka consumption, none of the official Wheatthinspalooza chroniclers took pictures with high enough resolution to work- so alas, I must turn to a professional. This is happening next week, so you can imagine the prep for the perfect “carbalicious” look, as well as what will constitute the “Brooke in her element” shot. Since I have limited funds and my board of directors are kind of over me right now- I look to you my friends for suggestions on what I should be wearing and doing in these pictures.